Hello there. Best take a sit down, rather than collapse on the floor. Don’t get excited. And you bloody well best not get scared either. We’re not having that again. Not another episode like Aunt Gertrude –
You knew this day would come. Your an intelligent boy. After all if you didn’t expect this , why the hell do all that research into the family tree? It’s hereditary after all.
Yes it is exactly who you think it is.
We are the voices in your head.
Yes, we realise that we have left it late this time before getting in touch. Until now you’ve been pretty much. Well together. We felt you didn’t need our intervention.
You know? We didn’t need to step in, take control as such. It was all pretty smooth. We’re surprised you hadn’t guessed that because – well never mind.
Anyway I bet you’re wondering why I sound like you. Well there’s a good reason for that one.
It’s to make you feel more at ease. More at ease at the prospect of someone sharing your consciousness. Someone’s actually. There’s a few of us here but I’ll get to that another time.
Listen, we’re sorry to have thrown this on you. Please come out of the corner and stop rocking back and forward it’s making us nauseous.
The control you’ve had has been extraordinary really. Kept the demons at bay as it were with your routine, your schedules, your laborious habit of setting up domino’s all uniform in a line. They really are beautiful patterns you create. We all enjoy them.
Well, anyway, today that reason, that control flew away. It slipped out your grasp. That’s the reason we’re here to help you.
You see, everyone else didn’t have your intellect, your reasoning. You can only work with what you’ve got. Previously its not been much but now we can do what we were born to do together.
Look you take a rest and sit this one out, please let us intervene – its our pleasure.
The madness was always going to find you. And she asked for it. Really she did. I mean you treated her nicely didn’t you? Like a princess. But still she betrayed you, stabbed you in the back. Just like you stabbed her. We will clean this up. Really its no trouble
No that’s fine, let’s not worry about the whys and wherefores – not if it upsets you.
To be honest after Gertrude its a pleasure to working with someone of your calibre. It really is. We could be part of something great.
Excuse me a moment.
What’s that? That’s preposterous! Really? His sister? Well that’s awkward!
Look there’s been a mistake. Someone must have sent the wrong forms through or something. We’re awfully sorry.
We aren’t the voices in your head, we are the voices in someone else’s head. A relative if yours, not that it helps much.
Apologies. Your on your own!